I wrote Men Are Easy ten years ago. The title is awkward but it got attention. Its logic comes from bonds and boundaries, feedback and development — the patterns that make up systems from cells to stars to people. It won two book awards.
I recently gave a copy of the book to a young woman. She came back a little later with a complaint. Why are women always the ones to do all the work in a relationship?
My advice was simple: Don’t work at your relationship. Play. Get creative. She was working at it because the man she lived with wasn’t interested in being committed to her. If she breaks up with him, and he doesn’t want to let her go, then things get real. If not, she’ll know.
My young friend thanked me and I thanked her for the big head’s up -- This book is about being married.
Three of my friends have daughters who’ve married women. I walk every week with a dear friend who considers gender a waste of energy. The culture has opened up and the man/woman focus just doesn't cut it any more.
It's time to get the new version out!
It’s time to eliminate gender bias and focus on marriage, because marriage is not living together. Marriage may not be for everyone, but for those who take it on, it’s a legal, financial, and personal commitment to form a life together. It’s also an amazing training ground for love and life.
The book's new title is How to Be (Married). It’s 80% revised. I just have to finish it up and get it out there.